Inside Swarathma

Rangayana Mysore,i looked at my watch it was 7:00pm the bright lights where on me but that did not matter much as i saw hundreds of eyes on me waiting for me to talk, that sent a cold wave to my spine ...

It all began with a phone call from Jishnu asking me would i be interested to tour with swarathma as i was the chosen fan.... not in my wildest dream would i have said NO not even on a gun point. as soon i dropped the call i made a hundred calls n tweets telling people what had struck me, my feet wouldn’t stop dancing and that never happened before... the excitement of meeting the band sure had grown all over me. Now i had a new set of horns and those always honked about how lucky i was many boasting sessions did happened.

The day finally arrived A TT (Tempo traveller) came to pick me up, and there i meet a red head red beard mallu ... it took a while for me to realize he is a Indian and from Gods own country and he documented swarathma's tours it was just me and him sleepy eyes travelling now to pick up the other band members the excitement was building in as he told tales about the band, and Ya his name was is and will probably remain Sameer had to introduce him to you somewhere so saved it till the end.

We picked up Jishnu and then Montry who i always thought was Monty... Jinshu showed me no signs of celebrity mask he was soo down to earth and made me super comfortable throughout the tour while Montry the drummer was totally Mad and surely in a good way. we were joined by Mr Rahul who played tabla for the band he was hilarious too mostly with his Hydrabadi hindi fun n laughter remained along the tour... i soo was a misfit when they spoke about the instruments and other types of music, i could only connect to them easily when they spoke anything about swarathma and i always jumped in i surely know a lot about the band probably more than what Wikipedia knows and now after this tour i know them even better. Jishnu kept talking while i was keen about meeting the other members some of them had already reached Mysore others were travelling in some other TT... then we finally entered Mysore the city was soo beautiful the royal flavor in the air it was easy to fall in love.

The lunch did happen at a place called 'Uncle Lobo' The famous coorgi cuisine Pandi Curry was enjoyed with stories of pigs to Nursery rhymes, while Rahul kept insisting "Yaar pork bolo pandi bolo per PIG mat bolo yaar". That was enough to cut loose the Pig jokes and pig talks... probably we just spoke about pigs after that.Met Sanjeev and Varun there who looked at me with a confused smile until introduced.

Finally we reach the Venue there i meet the Wonderful kind polite Vasu Dixit and then Soft spoken Pavan the band was now complete and in front of me ready for a sound check in a wonderful venue 'Vana Ranga' at Rangayana it was a Amphitheater there where lot of trees around there were birds chirping and not so far away a lake was visible.. it sure looked like the most beautiful venue ever, everybody in the band looked excited with the venue while i was enjoying my presence there, just being there was a big deal for me.., i saw the band turned into supreme entertainers as soon as they went on stage for sound check very professional too... just the sound check gave me goose bumps i was loving living very min also enjoying the attention everybody gave me. the Band Manager was this funny guy called Deb he kept things alive throwing jokes at each other and keeping it tight as they call it :P.A lot of people walked up to me and was talking to me about my camera and what kind of pics i click these were some audience who had arrived really early i spoke to them about the band and they shared their feelings about the band a lot of teen crowd from the local colleges had arrived...

It was 6:50pm there were hardly any people in the amphitheater, a thought of disappointment sure did run over my mind, this shouldn’t happen to my band specially when iam with them. i get a call from the green room where Pavan n Vasu tells me would you like to talk about your experience with the band on stage we would love it if u do, i was shit nervous but then i thought after a rocking show nobody would care about a random guy talking .. i put up a brave face and said SURE with some kilos of confidence then Pavan tells me also introduce the band if u like that’s  when it struck me i was gonna talk all this before the show, Jinshu puts a hand on my shoulder n tells me no pressure mate if u don’t wanna do it dont ...i told myself 'ab to izzat ka sawal hain' and then who gets to introduce their favorite band on stage this was a golden opportunity i wanted to do it i had to do it right... a lot of notepads opened in my mind writing random things.. Just then the band members invited me to their hurdle ritual before the Show where they boosted spirits to a new level after that even i wanted to rock the show sadly i played no instruments. I was walking all over place trying to figure out what to say in less than 5mins, i had a random outline of what i wanted to say. Just then someone says "Kaveer you’re on"

I looked at my watch it was 7:00pm the bright lights where on me but that did not matter much as i saw hundreds of eyes on me waiting for me to talk, that sent a cold wave to my spine.it was a full house n more, just then the Foot and mouth disease had struck me, My mouth started fumbling while my feet were trembling. i felt responsibility on my shoulders i did not wanna mess things up for my band yes i was part of it now...i welcomed the audience and i introduced myself and told them about my journey until then i got a huge wooo woww sounds with lots of claps that gave me enough confidence to talk more looking into their eyes which looked at me with anticipation and love all mostly because of the band. The proud moment had arrived when i call the band to the stage i had goose bumps doing that... i thought that was the best gift from the band to me. and as i went backstage the band members were happy with whatever little i did i was supremely proud and floating already. And then when the band went on stage the crowd went crazy the lights went crazy everything reached a new level of awesomeness they made the audience dance sing laugh everything a audience would ask for ... the famous topis were seen all over the place spreading awareness in different colours. The Topiwalleh album was then launched with a great gesture Vasu's Mom, Pawan's Dad and The man who stitched the topis (my apologies for not remembering the great man’s name). now it was time to strike the audience harder and they did it just right the crowd just went mad completely dancing all around me it sure was divine feeling and then like all good things come to an end the show ended too with people barging in for Autographs n Photographs i just stood aside and watched the fans go crazy over them... smiles all over people just kept showering love over them... i wanted to click a pic with the band with their costumes but that never happened, i simply did not want to steal time from any fan while i was lucky enough to get soo much love life laughter peace from them. bought my own copy of the album and sure did receive a hug n autograph from each person in the band the warmth i received was touching. Jishnu walks up to me and gives me his playlist (not sure what you call it the order of songs to play on that day written on paper) soo loved being there...

The show ended the hungry bunch reached a place called "Grandpa's Kitchen" where the madness began more like a celebration of good show or in short just dinner where Deb and Montry started their Malayalam, Bengali jugalbandi sure was hilarious however we left the restaurant before could unite they courage to throw us out. probably that was my last memory with the band once we hit the road everybody snored loud enough to disturb each other’s sleep, we only woke up to say good bye to each other....

i know that I am ending this abruptly... let’s do it the way Vasu does

Jishnu on base and backing vocals, Sanjeev on violin, Montry on the drums, Varun on the Guitar, Pavan on Precautions and Vasu on guitar n vocals  

- Kaveer  (Kabira koi banta nahi .... kabira to hota hain bus)

P.S: Photos from the tour https://www.facebook.com/media/set/set=a.10150981873772755.474805.755237754&type=1

 

A Bulb

Just Belief

Belief in me says i will rise
something within says life is wise
away shines a wisdom star
far away from the within war
next to me stands a strong will
fueling me to reach the kill


my feet have lost hope
life to them is never a dope
few drops made the difference
way beyond my convenience
its a new goal everyday
its a new faith everyday


Iam broken yet not scattered
fighting strong until fallen
The path to free spirit is desire
life beyond the obstacles are happier

When a mad bunch Met a Noble Cause

ISCON is the venue I saw on the website, I thought for a while should i? Should I not? for a while then I told myself “ who are u kidding, u dog u want to go .. They give away a free t shirt” yup self motivating me wasn’t really hard.

I stood down the hill and looked up you gonna do all this for a t shirt common will u really climb this hill … yup I did. Reached the top finally found the auditorium and a lot more people wearing black Indiblogger T-shirts ( I knew I was gonna get black t shirts, evil smile). And yup it all started well with samosa and juice ( the mood was set) at the same time I was making sure if I get to talk I aint gonna say anything sleazy .. I was in a holy place .i looked at m watch it was really late but the confidence I had on the organizing committee was immense… they simply would not start without me ( but then they choose to wait for a lil more guests too… n then in the end came the Indi bus .. wonder who was pushing it to glory).

Was quite a good looking auditorium, looked around couldn’t find any who I knew from twitter or from the last meet, so it was pretty much me sitting on the last but one row and staring at some bald heads in front of me ( lights reflected from them and blocked my view, SHINI disco balls I call it). I saw a lot of people with gadgets from laptops to smart phones all flaunting I just had my camera but none looked at it. In a while a voice from behind me said can I take this chair iam really bored sitting alone, why would I say no when I was pretty much doing the same thing what she(Akanksha) was doing . ( I really thank god that she asked me). The chat battle started and we went on for long until the IndiBus finally came in and the show started.

There was a new introduction pattern which where in 60 random people would get to introduce themselves all thanks to Ginger chai, then it got a lil more awesome we got to know how blogging helped to feed some needy kids, felt good … this time Indiblogger meet was just not pure madness it was pure awesomeness. Then we got to eat a great meal from #Akshaya Pathra was proud to know that the kids were fed with good food and wish I could go back to one of those schools ( the thought of me getting into those tiny clothes was not pretty, so canceled the plan)

And then we returned with a filled tummies and full and ready to run down the hill (where else can u get a good sleep). But ya met quite a lot of people who I only knew from twitter, they all came alive from their profile pictures none looked the same though, iam sure neither do I look the same.time to be blamed n to the rest lets blame Photoshop.

Got more gyan from the ISCON guru himself about How. Why, What? all questions were answered and also means while a lot showed interest in how could they help. And then came the Might which inspite of Mr Ginger Chaiz advice was not changed where you actually feel like a bill board and people write on your back while you introduce and get introduced turning the auditorium into a Fish Market (what my English teacher in 3^rd grade would say). I had “STICK NO BILLS “ (coz I cant pay my own) written on my back. Met a lot of good people really good for that matter sure was lucky to meet some Indiblogger team too. As the fun was all over the place we were split into 4 teams n sent to 4 corners of the auditorium where we had to discuss about some topics, we got a topic “online harassment” we really did talk a lot in the discussion we were more like a bunch of people who could harasse people online than be the victims of the same. We kindda manage to harasse the group next to us (that was the least we could do).

Finally we had to get back to normal mind zones and the free T-shirt time had arrived I almost ran to the XL size shirts just coz the line was short then realized me and my neighbor would fit in one so settled for L(large). He smile in my face sure was much wider than any other widescreen Tv.

The day was spent wonderfully but then this thought in my head popped how will I reach home, where to catch the bus n all that, But then my brand new friend was kind enough to drop me home .. even if it looked like she had a Eiffel tower in her back seat (I know I have been a lot of trouble).

All ends well with lots of laughter and madness yet a feeling our heart does arise and makes sure it wasn’t just a mad Sunday it was much more than that, truly a helping hand towards the future of our country. Proud to be an IndiBlogger (hope I can call myself that, iam sure I can … believing they are too lazy to sue me). Waiting for my next free T shirt or even Indi pants would do … I have 2 shirts already ;P

Return of the Indiblogger Tee-shirt maniac

IndiBlogger Free T- shirt n Mr me

Back Bencher at a Fun Fair

I managed to reach the venue on time (2:20PM like time really mattered). I ran to the elevator as it closed on my face a lady inside tried a lot to press that stupid button which iam sure didn’t help her much. So I stood out along side came a gentleman (did not shave ...did not dye his hair) he introduced me as naveen n he’s from the team (I was still wondering am I late or just too early)..Some how made it to the 7^th floor and entered a door which had tea n snacks kept there (for real I saw some empty tea cups and biscuits) but the guy in the suit shhh..ed me away and then I had to enter this scary tunnel which almost gave me a feeling of drain pipes in “predator 2” (surely did not stink). Then at the registration desk a pretty lady asked me to register and like always I took 10mins just to figure out what was my user id in indiblogger but I finally did ( its hard to say no to a pretty lady, Indiblooger team had done their home work).

Then feeling weird about the fact that I knew nobody here was scratching me within all over, 2 guys(one of them BRAND BULL) came rushing to me and said hey how are you dude and all that “remember us from the last meet and much more “(this was my first ever indiblogger meet ). I had to tell them that I was not the same zombie you guys saw in the last meet, but them kept saying your face is very familiar and much more….(do I look like rajnikanth !!! ??? …gulpanag looked nothing like me I was sure about that) Feeling good about people know me or “someone like” me here. Found a seat and sat down feeling a lil better and promised myself I will laugh loud on any joke, then noticed nobody sat in the row in which I sat (wondering what did the guy who look like me did in the last meet)..But then once anoop(ya the guy who wore the undergarment over his shirt ..Brave guy) started talking i knew why, the speakers shouted in my ears like I requested for such a luxury (rotten fate).

Then started the laughter show fun filled which never stopped all the organizers made sure they did not stop tickling us until the introduction session, then came the mighty snore who started it (someone who could play cricket with both hands n legs n more)

Some where really funny others where obviously killers of the mood, I did not want to be boring so kept thinking what good can I say to this bunch of derailed mind holders…made a huge list but then when it came to me all I said was “ I never thought after writing all that crap in the blog we had the balls to meet each other “ (ppl laughed OH common they grinned) I forgot rest of my lines ..i said thank you and settled back in my warm seat. Finally the intro session came to an end ( I did not know anybody, neither did anybody else know me by the end). I was still wondering will they give us the free t shirt which actually brought me here (these guys joked a lot, so it was kindda hard to for me to trust)

Then came a announcement where the prizes for almost anything and sometimes for nothing, Hp really went crazy or where they just cleaning up their old stock not very sure. also came an announcement which said after the meet pay 550/- n drink all you want (and of course when free all that you don’t want as well) but as I don’t booze did not rise my mojo….( why don’t I booze ?… why god why).

Then the hp guy who gave us some free gyan about how the machines will work in the future (killed the printer and reincarnated it …..Almost godly), I guess I forgot to to mention we also got enough gyan on mobile banking I guess it was blogging ….banking blogging what difference does it make when you could not hear much. Then came the interesting part where we had to hang some yellow colors drawing sheets on our back and people had to write something, this is when we actually met people and said hello with a beautiful smile (selfish reasons just to fill the sheets on ur back) , but truly I got to meet some very awesome people like anoop, vineet (the ones who was introduced as pimp in Mumbai) and also lot more who I know them by their twitter handle (wonder why is it called handle …sounds sleazy). And there was tea and snacks as well but that drawing sheet on my neck distracted us from that room (indiblogger surely have done their home work trust me.. they just ordered food for 100 people). But I made sure I get my hands on some chat n tea…I got myself a tea then reached out for a good looking chat a guy comes shouting hey I know you from the last meet ( holy crap …. I really wanted to meet this guy who looked like me and kick his ass …I missed my chat coz of the some mistaken identity chit chat).

Then we had get back to our seats people got prizes for clicking good pictures ( it was embarrassing to hold a Nikon D90 n not get prize ) and I sat there as the discussion continued on the forum what should we have on it and what not it got heated up for a sec and then got back to the chilled mode… we got some more gyan on civil defense which was very informative and also they had ideas on creating a some very good website to stop pollution (all in all a lot more good ideas came poring). A young guy who was special spoke about his journey which was really interesting as well, and then I suddenly ;looked at the guy next to me ..he had like 4 hairs on his head and neatly arranged (it must have taken him hrs to put them in place ).

I clicked some pictures but did not do much with that as well..none have commented on my pictures like always (I feel at home…Thank You) …. And then we had some more laughter and some more serious gyan and finally it all came to an END officially a gal walking next to me woke me up ( I wasn’t actually sleeping but she thought so), and she said “ go get some booze” ..i don’t booze I said ..she said “weird” ( is it my fault that I don’t booze ..god has created me like this ..People understand gays but non boozers). Then my eyes lit up..it was there wat I had actually come for I got the t shirt from the same pretty lady and she said “ what size “ ( dazzled ) large ..i got my t shirt and went home happily with amazing memory of the beautiful event that was Indibloggers meet . a complete worth while those who missed it missed something in their life ( I at least have a free t shirt, don’t argue).

A mighty a THANK YOU for the Inidibloggers team who made it all happen, hoping to meet all you “handsome men”(I feel handsome too) again in the future meets to come …3 cheers to Indiblogger …keep blogging, Keep tweeting ..Keep messing with life ..

SCAR

Iam a man whoz lost his presence

iam a man who cant find any assurance

darkness has conquered my ways

have not seen light for days

been standing for long as i can remember

hearing unpleasant sounds as they linger

covered in dust is my skin

peace is never what i found within

burnt in the sun, mellowed by the moon

wanting to go back where i belong soon

will my desire burn and shatter

will my pride fly and scatter

waiting for freedom to discover me

waiting for the unknown get me glee

NEWS Day 73: An American Soldier held hostage

by the afghani rebels for months now

found shot dead.

(no scar like war...stop war) -kaveer

CURSED

i see a roof where the spiders web
where the birds nest
the floor where the dust shed
where the rodents rest

i hear the roof leak
wind blows and the door creak
i smell the empty air
the life saving tonic here n there

a far away wall crack shows sunshine n rain
weed grown on the broken window pane,
shows twinkles a glow worm at night
the creaking roof will rest on me is the only fright

yet i cant move to hold a dear
left have all the people who i called near
now iam just a old man with a broken back
counting my days to get into the sack

did not know once merry drunk will cost me so
driving back home i remember
life was cheers and lovely i remember
what i cant remember is what people say
i killed my family and this is how i pay

i survived the crash but lost my folks
wish i wasn’t drunk that day, on the rocks
i wouldn’t be on my bed on my birth day
miss the cake and candles they would have got me today

-kaveer

OH !!!.....2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
i learnt swimming ( now i can fight before i get flushed away :P ).

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i wanted to loose weight n ended up gaining some ..i guess i will make more resolutions for next yr, tht motivates me to eat some yummy food
, guess i might even get a six pack gotta give it a thought

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
naa ..but i guess some mosquitos under my bed did .. i hope tht counts

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes ,,,,sure was a nice lady

5. Did you murder anyone?
not my fault tht i look like a monster, does not mean u can ask me anything

6. Which important global event touched you most?
Michael jackonz death.. loved the way he moved, kindda miss him not tht he used to share a coffee with me everyday but i still do.
every single time when sachin scaored a century ...my mood wld go ginga la la
Copenhagen climate change... finally the biggies care about the environment

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
i cant remember one date ..oh ya april 1st, NO thts not my bday

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
iam a MCA now ( not boasting one bit ) n ya i won this award "best photographer of the year" given by NATIONAL GEO CHANNEL, truly in my dreams

9. What was your biggest failure?
haven’t been THE ONE yet

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
no injuries except for shoe bite n illness been quite well all this yr but while iam writing this my nose is running a marathon .

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
i really dont know, i celebrate on every bubble burst.. love to keep the smiles going

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
all the so called religious communities n ya some very 3rd grade politicians ... son of a looser ( iam sure none has used this one b4, a inventor is born)

14. Where did most of your money go?
i really did not have much money but i still guess it all went on food ....i keep getting these forwarded mails which says bill gates is sharing his property..thts a ray of
hope ( i wanna belive thts real)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
every single time when i book my tickets home ...i feel great abt gettin out of this bad food city blore n reachin to some really awesome home cooked food ..Heaven

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
wake up sid : iktara

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
i was having a ball at this time last year ( i was still in college) ...things change gotta deal wit it

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Pasted a lot more smiles n felt happy about it

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
loose temper on my mom ...she definitely does not deserve it ..its not completely her fault tht i look like a monster

21. How will you be spending Christmas?
will hope tht santa thinks i have been good this yr ..n gift me a Nikon D90, santa are u reading this ..oye santa singh not u yaar the Christmas wala

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
kindda ..it was more like humty dumptyz great fall

23. How many one night stands?
almost every month until i finished college ...oye gallat nahi samajne ka..had to sleep with my text books when i read them all night long :P

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
strangely after all this years ... i really feel the idiot box has truly turned into one.

26. What was the best book you read?
read a lot i guess shantaram was good ..read some from chetan bhagat "3 mistakes of my life " turned out to be one of my mistakes

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i can never sing in tune, iam like the biggest besura born under the sun

28. What did you want and get?
i wanted to be Mr me ... n i guess, i have lived by my rules ( no rules ...rules r only for oldies who cant jump the fence )

29. What did you want and not get?
thats a long list ...iam super greedy ..to say the least i want a nikon d90 n also wanted to be as strong as HULK ( dnt ask me why )

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY ( no movie has ever scared me ..but this one managed to )

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
spent recalling my last few bdayz which rocked ..saad i must say .. i turned 24

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Earning some moola so tht i could look my responsibilities in the eye

34. What kept you sane?
dont hurt my emotions :P.... have always been insane, doctor says therez no hope

37. Who was the worst new person you met?
The auto guy who looted me in blore, took 30 bucks when he had to just drop me 10 feet away ( a new fool was in town then )

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i havent met much ppl this year ...but iam lucky i usually meet the chosen one(s) :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
life can treat you bad ,,,all thanks to my friends n family who try to make it a joy ride .....n ya how can i forget KFC Zinger burger is yummy

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
' smiles came free, along were thee
Sunshine every morning, frown went flee
n then...pals lost me, memories brought glee
in the fight for destiny...today smiles aint free
- kaveer

WHEN ALL THAT SHOULDNT HAPPEN, HAPPENS

WHEN ALL THAT SHOULDNT HAPPEN, HAPPENS - KAVEER

I was at the Bangalore KSRTC bus stop waiting for my bus to arrive i had no place to sit, so had to stand of course ( i didn’t want to choose the sleeping on the floor option). while i was having this unnecessary thought in my head, a guy from the shop behind started shouting at me for blocking his shop’s view i stared at him wondering am i that huge or is he retarded ( i loved my second option, coz if i did choose the first option i had to diet). Actually while i was staring at him i could not help noticing the samosa which looked hot ( i don’t mean the hot from hot n sexy) so after a wild thought of consuming the product i looked at my watch which struck 9:30 PM and by bus would not reach here before 10:30 PM, it’s not my fault i reached early what would i do if the traffic was not of its daily standards ( iam sure a lot of people were on sick leave like they usually do on Fridays ). Before i forget let me get back to the samosa which was waiting for me and i could not ignore it anymore, so i decided to block the view of shop again only to be greeted happily this time with a mineral water bottle almost on my face followed with scream SAR SAAR COLD DRINKS ( but he still was holding a bottle of mineral water ) i did not care about what he was selling i ordered for a samosa n chai and and he sure gave me all that i asked him for but however the samosa did turn out cold and the chai was very sweet to me but i managed to drink it all and ate the cold to death samosa i knew nothing comes for Rs 10 in Bangalore , he said SAAR 12 Rupees (like i said nothing comes for Rs 10).

I was still standing and i saw a old man leaving his seat and a guy shamelessly jumped into the seat and rested his butt comfortably and ya the guy was me, after feeling the comfort i just hoped the old man would not return (if he does ill have do the good guy act n offer him his throne) , then suddenly like there was some plague in the area two more seats got vacant next to me and while i was giving a thought of shifting the seat ( just to feel not guilty about stealing the throne from a old guy),the seats got refilled by 2 Americans who had a lot of guide books like i had in my high school for every subject they did a deep research on goa and were planning the tour while all the people passing gave the woooo whaaa looks while i behaved like a good Indian in his best posture represented India for good behaviour ( in short for a change i was behaving weird ), just then i saw this man walking next to us who just threw away Indian fashion to the most stinky dustbin, he was wearing a yellow corduroy pant and a shirt with zebra like stripes of colour golden and black ( that was a visual torture to say the least). Time passed quite quickly than i expected and the bus was there waiting for its most prestigious passenger to arrive (a lil pat on my own back for being prestigious).

My seat number was 40 next to the window and i just seem to have missed the last row i felt lucky, i getting comfortable on my seat only to nice that the window of my seat was all blurred with scratches and all i could see is a 3D film without the glasses and then i leaned back only to find my shirt wet because of some leakage from the AC (i told me myself FELT LUCKY A LIL TOO EARLY grrrrr) then i managed the tourist attraction the water fall somehow with the blankets given, so now i did not have blankets for the actual purpose that showed in few moments as my teeth did some chattering sound without me ordering them to do so. Suddenly i remember a friend’s birthday and i made sure i had to stay awake till 12, i could not see out and strain my eyes, could not sit numb coz i would fall asleep, could not dance coz i did not have enough space to keep my legs dancing is never an option..And suddenly the person sitting next to me finds a good pillow to rest on, my shoulder. And he was quite happy using it like it was his @#$%%#%# property i tried moving my shoulder but the guy wouldn’t move and when i was doing this i see a huge dark guy sitting right behind me and so i could not use the luxury of push back in my seat, he wore a XXXL shirt so i did not see a point asking him to move his big belly or even get punched by him so spent the rest of the time cursing him and the other sticky stuck on my shoulder .i looked at my watch again that moved real slow like a snail in the wall ( i added the watch to my curse list).

Out of nowhere there was this huge roar i looked around n thought must be a mobile ring tone but then it repeated only to my surprise that the sound wasn’t a roar it was snore from the local back seat hulk ( i had answers for ..What can we do if Godzilla visits us again??... We have a matching roar to shhh it away) and the snore had a weird pattern, the sound went loud n then low n then a pause for like 5 sec giving you a hope that it’s the end it won’t happen again , however even before you finish your flowery thought you get kicked by a even louder snore and your hopes are brutally murdered while this continued the time was 12 :15 i thought i should call my friend n wish her and then i struggle to pickup my mobile from my pocket all thanks to the guy on my shoulder and the pushback seat luxury which the guy in front of me could use so he was kindda sleeping on my lap and my fingers struggle to reach my pocket and in the process of trying to pull the cell phone out my fingers loose grip and at 12 :30 in the night i was playing this game “feel n guess the object “ i got a shoe a water bottle a plastic bag all that and more before i found my mobile in the dark and final i called with the background score of Jurassic park, but my friend did not pick my call i called again and the same result again ( what a waste..is it truly her birthday ..ya it was, she had it as a part of her email id too)..then i quit calling her and had a good thought of getting some good sleep only if the hulk or the hybrid Tarzan stops his wild roar, all night i spent closing my ears with both the hands and did all possible things to put myself to sleep (no did not sing lori to myself) but the snore overpowered everything, and then came a moment the guy woke up and was getting down from the bus ( i thought i should have wished for million dollars but this one pleased me equally) i almost did the chicken dance and shouted yes yes yes yes there u go u looser in my mind( i still knew he wore XXXL shirt ..so in the mind was perfect) and then the magic happens i get some good sleep and the sticky guy had sat straight giving my shoulders some rest, was all happy as things were falling into place and then the unthinkable happened the god of sleep hugged me tight . Just then my phone rings and my sleep i wake up with my eyes heavy too see the birthday gal had called me back to say thank you i cut short the talking and promised her to call next day in the morning .. and was soo sure nobody is gonna bother my sleep now and i remembered the Godzilla is now extinct so i could use the push back, i was even more happy to receive some luxury ( god just couldn’t see me happy for a sec that night ) the bus jumped over a pot hole on the road and a tumbler of water splashed on my face, thanks to the leakage ( all the stored water choose to leak all at once). tossed away all my hopes of a good sleep .just then the sticky guy finds my lap more comfortable than my shoulder and settles down there ....i did not sleep that night but made sure the sticky guy stayed away... this is exactly how it looks when all tht shouldn’t happen , happens. i'am sure someone upstairs beyond the clouds had his share of fun .

vanished into the void

Vanished into the void -KAVEER

They have moved in my mom said, the most awaited neighbours. For a sane reason the neighbours were talk of the colony as they moved in to the newly built house which was just the very next house i saw the house when it was just sand n mud growing to a huge monster size castle and then been painted too and now iam seeing it get filled with humans too four of them to be precise a mom, a dad and 2 kinds, the couple were doctors and that named the place doctors house.

A week later my sister comes to me and tells me about the dog they owned and like always she showered praises and twinkles and red shining cherry on top in short every dog she sees gets to be the most beautiful dog ever, when people say every dog has its day they do mean something but this time it was a little more than a praise that how they found the dog or rather how the dog found them. One day a man visits his daughter whose a doctor and that evening he sees a dog limping and bleeding feels his share of pity on it and also does a little more than that he treats the dog and help it heal its wound, and the dog decides to stay back guarding their house, it was loved by everyone in the house and when the doctors moved to their new home it moved along. Hence i was hearing to this story. Just had to listen, sometimes sisters can get bossy if you didn’t know.

And then there came a day when i was walking back home from college and while i was passing by the doctors house there i saw this twinkling eyes giving me a lazy stare but the creature to which the eyes were attached wasn’t that pretty truly a filthy looking female dog muddy brown colour black nose and totally out of shape, the ears looked like folded pages of the book and tail which looked like it was badly glued to its back by someone who did not know much about how dogs look, in short it was like a experiment gone wrong.

Being a dog person i wouldn’t hate many ya dogs in the first sight but this one i did just because it looked bad. And like all other dogs this one was close to my sister and walked her back from the main road of our colony to the house every single time she walked down from college and then she would feed her with something nice sometimes she wouldn’t mind snatching my meal away to feed the dog they were good with each other already but i still hated it just for the way it looked only thing that would keep me interested was its twinkling eyes they had soo much to say. It’s always been like i heard a lot about their encounters with the dog and how good it was to them or rather how smartly it behaved. also there were enough people who thought why was this ugly looking dog which my sister called cute was in the doctors house aren’t doctors supposed to be hygienic less know to the people that they were but just that dog needed a makeover to go with the doctors image.

Somehow it knew whom it should bark on and whom it shouldn’t and strangely it picked me in the list of not to bark on thanks to my sister who bribed it enough to recognise me and may be it hoped he would feed something to me someday , it now started to spend enough time at my place too my mom got attached to it too, my mom was never a cat or dog person or at least she portrays herself so .but now she had someone who would stand outside the kitchen door for regular lunch and dinner and if my mom was late the dog would start its hungry howl alarm to which mom usually responded and also told others proudly about it. Mean while even i some had fallen to the magic being a dog person it was easy to ignore the looks and go for the character and the gratitude it showed the twinkling eyes and the expressive face of the dog just could not let me hate it anymore everyday when i was done with my dinner the bones and thorns in my plate would reach the dog for having a reputation to keep up as a person who eats anything given has a corner in me which said the dog is waiting outside it was more of a house dog and must confess the laziest ever seen unless it saw something bad coming .

The street kids had named it the doctor dog (a MBBS for free) and it also scared them away each time they came close to pull its tail or throw stones and mostly it would be my mom who would rescue the kids buy commanding the dog to stay quiet and it would faithfully obeyed and the commanding proved costly to my mom as once a lady in the passing buy shouted at my mom “can’t you tie up your dog why let your dog wander “, she was speechless just did not want to say it isn’t mine i guess.

Years passed by and people who regularly come to our house knew it well and now it just wasn’t my sister who it walked along it came along me too each time i walked back from college but i still hadn’t changed did not give anything all i did was eat myself and if it did make any pity full faces felt sad for it n would give a share of anything i was eating , there were even times that i spoke to the dog like it was a human while it spent all that time staring at me, once me and my sister even tried to get the dog out of its lazy grove so tired doing some dog tricks holding a biscuit about our waist height so that it could jump and grab it, instead it waited looking to the floor trusting gravity it mostly believed in why waste energy when gradually the food has to fall on the floor and we never won that battle we always ended up feeding it with the food we were holding , at the same time cursing it for being such an ass. But it choose to ignore it all and look back at us with a twinkle and my sister simply could not resist saying “how cuteeeeeee” while choose to be manly and said nothing even when i was under the spell.

You could find it around you wagging its strange looking tail during any function or get together it was always there made it feel that it was a important person in the gathering less dog like and more human like behaviour i always knew it behaved well just because it was lazy to do anything else usually the other dogs choose to jump off the compound wall but this gave a good stare at the wall n then decides to sneak under the front gate and many ya times got stuck in between but somehow managed to pull itself out with a big noise. As days passed it understood what we said it got up went outside the gate when it was told to do so and at times even before we tell it to start it would finish off eating .it was always there when we needed it or did not need it.

Time passed days rolled and the dog had been doing all the necessary deeds that made us love it even more sometimes even i said it was cute . Then there came a time when i had to go to Bangalore for few months for my academic reasons and i used to come home once in a month or so , once when i came down i reached home early in the morning and was happy about coming back home but missed something , there existed a void and i did not realise what was the reason and then after a day passed i had my lunch and had was about to throw the fish thorns to the dustbin it reminded me about the dog so i went out gave a glace but could not find it, thought must have had a heavy lunch already and snoring at the doctors house. I ask my sisters how come the dog isn’t here at this time.

Her eyes go a little moist when she says it’s no more alive it was killed for some sane reasons. It struck me real hard when she said that i was filled with tears too and it isn’t easy for me while iam writing this either iam not ashamed to say today that i miss that ugly dog. my sister continues, the dog had cancer and it wouldn’t move much like it used to and would also be seen less and recently it had started to rot and here on was told that each of its organ would rot one after the other and hence would lead to death and it was not avoidable, so the doctors decided to let the dog go and not prolong its sufferings. The people assigned for the job came to the door step the dog was sitting outside the door trying to bark at the strangers for the one last time while it did not know who they were.

The dog was given a strong dose of anaesthesia but the twinkle in its eye did not fade away, it did not close its eyes which was not a normal behaviour after a heavy dose it kept staring at the doctors and their kids while they were in tears looking at their loved one for the last time. it never blinked away a look seemed like it did not want to miss a thing, as it closed its eyes they carried the dog away where it would then be injected to release its soul, it was hard for me to hear all this i walked around my house where i could usually see the dog and missed its presence and wished it could have been alive i would have still called it a ugly looking dog while it would look back at me and make sure i change my words. The dog that lived its life and made a difference in ours, it was just more than” just any dog to us “, Subbi you will be remembered.

Sometimes

Sometimes you find love 

sometimes you dont 

sometimes you say it out loud 

sometimes you wont 

i found love,i lost love

couldnt live without ,i called out for love 

its a creepy feeling hoping to regain love 

when i had a chance i did nt scream out loud

seems like its too late and sunz gone down  

now i see my whole world is fallen apart

still cant erase u away from my heart 

never will i tell, how much i miss you 

all tht hurts stay within me, never let it hurt you 

memory from my past haunt me

i scream out loud with pain within me 

even today when i see you smile 

i cross barriers and walk for a mile

i tried killing myself many ya times

heartz just selfish to see you one more time

but wont let you know how much i love you 

all i ask you is to be happy, like i always want you to 

sometimes you find love 

sometimes you dont 

sometimes you say it out loud 

sometimes you wont 

-KAVEER

A paper from the past

Wind blew in all directions
the paper rocket flew with no emotions
watching it sitting on a rock uphill
my heart was beating beyond my will

Fighting gravity the paper flew happy and free
hands wide open i followed the shadow,before it could flee
the thick dark clouds in the sky would soon stop the fly
blew the wind powered my toy, did not bother to ear my cry
i called out loud for the paper to quit
flew beyond the peaks,the rocket wouldnt sit

The expression in my face was wet
the feeling was killer when i lost my pet
washed my face in the river below
something was different my heart went hallow
the paper was floating on my reflection
like it just flew back to me with some connection

I found my toy again the joy in me regained
the paper had turned into a boat
all it could do now is float
a smile in my face showed dimensions
its now time to float destinations

My paper had already looked across the sky
now its destiny to discover the oceans

We cry and we smile,
happiness found us easily every mile
childhood was fun as stories of robin hood
a paper from the memory says, smile and renew the mood

-KAVEER

Jeena nahi [ hindi ]

Paaya tho tumhe kabi nahi
per khoya hoon tumhe abhi abhi
din tho the suhaane apne
per ab toot gaye saare sapne

socha tha jeena mushkil nahi
per tere bina aasoon ruk the nahi
sapno main tu tho chaagaye
akiyo main tuhi rehgaye

maangu main khuda se itna hi
sapne mere poore na kar
mere yaar ki khusi inkaar na kar

-KAVEER

Ek pal ki hassi [ hindi ]

Zindaggi ek pal main katjaayegi
thoda hass ke thoda roke nikaljaayegi
has ke jeelo ek pal hi tho hain yaara
kisko patha kiski zindaggi kab phisaljaayegi

Rona tho hain hi sab ko
khona tho hain hi sab ko
dhuk baat ke khusiya samet le yaara
paap tho dhona hi hain sabko
hass ke jeelo ek pal hi tho hain
kis ko patha zindaggi kab kisse rootjayegi

-KAVEER

Jung hain khud se [ hindi ]

Ajeeb sa dard hain, dil main kya?
na jaanu main na pehchanu main
khud se patha nahi kya chuparaha hoon main

Lagtha hain kuch khoya hain dil ne
Chup chup ke bahoot roya hain dil ne
raaz yeh kaise khud ko batha nahi paara haan hu main
khud se is ladaaye main khud ko maar rahaan hoon main

Hasi meri chin gaye hain
hasrath meri mit gaye hain
haara nahi hoon main,.. Phir bi
hasne ki tammana liye khud se lad raha hoon main

-KAVEER

Love

There were times when i was in love
I had no idea when it came to me and how
Everyday spent with her was delight
Every word she said turned my nights to day light

And one dark day, She left me alone
For a reason unknown
My life was a joke, i was broke

Dont know what really went wrong
The devil in me was too strong
Cupid lost the war
And Satan went too far

I was walking in the rain, had nothing to gain
I remember the things we did together
We promised to live like this forever
she killed herself and i could do it never

-KAVEER

I forgot to say:

Sun shined on a rainy day
i lived on for another day
chasing my dreams, i wished
i could live for another day

Gifted with all i wanted,never thought
it would come to me this way
but guess what i forgot to say
I love you even today

-KAVEER

it rained today

It Rained Today- Kaveer

It rained Today, no storms, no breeze, no thunder, no lightning, it simply rained today. Strange but it rained today.

I was sitting in my room, starting the day with good thoughts with a study book in my hand thinking of scoring good marks and getting the best job and making my parents happy/proud (whatever they choose to be) .just after studying 2 pages my mind forgot about the last 2 pages (It was very constant after every two damm pages, i wondered which of Newton’s law worked here ).It was ten hours later i realised , i had studied nothing and i was in terrible brain disorder called stress. Things were crazy no more did i want to make my pop and mom happy i just wanted to pass (if not the same pop will kick me out off the house).

I kept on thinking what and how to study all the while, and all the planning took so much time that ,the execution of plans did not happen (timeout ,GAME OVER) ,mom called out loud and clear for dinner, i thought it would be great to have some food and watch some cricket (basically have fun). The dinner was served the usual dal roti and rice including some green vegetable which i simply loved (had no option) and that day the cricket team i supported had to get out at 68 runs only, what worse can happen on this day (I already announced it as the worst day of my life).

And then i visited my books again as soon as i touched them the magic worked they had a great chemistry (Who?) ,ya my mom’s food and these boring text books ,nothing can work better as a team , i was snoring already and then suddenly when i woke up the time was 11:00 pm ,i was terrified and told myself not to panic breath normally for a while and then came to the mighty conclusion(blame it on something rule)that it was my rooms fault (the vastu) and need a break from it .so thought the top floor of the building(which we call terrace) was the perfect place to get it started .

Carrying my books (the books were no less than a huge watermelon you can think off ,your thought can be small but not my books) i went upstairs cursing the stupid lift which stops working after 10:00 pm, once i reached the terrace it was breezy and cool very pleasant indeed and suddenly this had to happen, i saw a girl stand on the wall of the terrace with her hands wide open into the air ,seemed like kate winstlet without jack , now i wondered may be that is the reason why she is standing there and might jump off( the thought haunted me more than anything else).

I ran to stop her and pulled her down she was surprised by my move and almost slapped me with anger .but she missed (Who !!! misses a close range slap, but believe it or not she did loose her aim).

She: What do you think you just did, who are you?

Me: I just stooped you from doing a sin and now you blame me?

She: what sin?

Me: suicide!@?

She: Are you crazy?, i was just enjoying the breeze.

Me: Phew!!!(Indeed a bad day), Sorry my fault, It has just been a bad day all unfortunate things are happening to me since morning. i am not able to study not able to do anything right and also have my exams tomorrow.

She: My name is ANGELA. (Phew that was the first time ever a gal introduced herself to me without a million requests)

Me: hi iam me (I don’t feel like giving myself a name ...i like” me”)

She: ok! So whats with the exams??

Me: Haven’t been studying till the last day before exam and now i suffer, i haven’t studied a word.

She: let me see your text book.

Me: Here you go

(Gave it to her and wondered, can she carry that, it was really very heavy and she looked very light and looked in great shape ... and did i forget to say beautiful).

She: I had this subject too; i can tell you what might be important.

Me: oh! Thats great, finally something good is happening to me today.

Angela: It’s just the beginning, you’ll have a great day its already past 12:00 its a new day now.

(She marked few topics and closed the book, and i had already decided to trust her for some reason and study only those)

Me: Thank you soo much, never seen u around are you new to this place?

Angela: Ya i just arrived yesterday to a flat next to yours to bless a new born child

(A tradition where people celebrate the new born, bless him or her and rejoice)

Me: ok, so what are you doing here all alone?

Angela: Nothing, was just watching the sky, it is always beautiful to watch the sky before the day it rains.

Me: What!!! Rain and now in winter, ha ha ha you must be kidding.

Angela: No it will, believe me, angels don’t lie.

Me: Ya right!!! Angels never lie but you do.. lol

Angela smiled

Angela: Do you believe in angels?

Me: Ya i do.Why, don’t you??

Angela: i definitely do, i like angels more than humans.

Me: i like the concept of angels they are very holy nice and a lil more nice, too many movies on them, but still don’t trust it completely. But sure do love the concept.

Angela: lol.. You been studying a lot can see your concepts flowing lol

Me: lol ya i put a lot of effort on trying to study.

Angela: ok study now, ill go back and get some sleep. Good luck don’t worry this will be your best exam ever.

Me: Thank you, and hope your words come true.

Angela: Remember, Angels don’t lie ... lol .

Me: Ya lol.

Angela: bye, take care.

Me: you too, bye.

And then i started studying all the topics marked by Angela and it really was a good day i could study, i studied for long until 6:00 am in the morning then slept for an hour, i felt confident when i woke up and then went to college to write my exam (with just hoping that i could peep into someone’s paper and get some info. and also hoped that the lecturer must have not fought with his wife while he was setting the question paper).

Felt fresh and nice when i reached college, met friends and like always said to each other that i did not study a thing and also told them will tell you about the gal i met last night after the exam.(they were all excited but then someone reminded them about the exam and slammed their desires with a sledge hammer).

Now i was already in the class room and my heart seemed to have changed its ringtone from lub dub to some other unknown metal bands music, i was a little scared wanted to shout out loud and run from the exam hall, but i was sitting silently to the eyes of the world (And ya was more scared of the wicked smile of the lecturer, who was waiting for us to get trapped and loose our life ..He looked like gabbar to me ...must be the kumb ka mela story they both were separated).

So then gabbar i mean the lecturer started distributing the question paper and finally reached me. I closed my eyes and said “please god please no jokes this time i want to pass “.

I opened my paper and saw the questions it were exactly the same topics i studied all of them i felt lucky and i started writing and then suddenly to my surprise ,a abnormal behaviour took place(this time it wasn’t me ..it was the nature) it Rained Yes!!! It rained a drop of it felt my arm, that even made clear that it wasn’t my illusion (not a day dream).

It rained Today, no storms, no breeze, no thunder, no lightning, it simply rained today. Strange but it rained today....

Then a thunder struck in me only to remind “Remember, Angels don’t lie ... lol “.